Saturday, 8 December 2007

Pavlov's Theory Gone Wild

Chester is no fool. He knows how to sit, spin around and speak on command. He knows what a treat is, and understands "Wanna go for a walk?" and "How about a beer?"

No, he's not my husband. He's my dog.

He may be bright, but lately he's been taking the Pavlov theory a little too far. When he was young, he got lost in a storm and thus wasn't thrilled with the sound of thunder. When the park down the street started hosting the July 1 fireworks, he became increasingly nervous at the sound of booming and screeching. Canada Day weekend had him hiding under various desks and tables, and he's not a little guy.

The smoke alarm beeps when the oven is too hot. I can't find the broom handle fast enough to disarm it. Chester heads for the front door and promptly pees on the floor. By the way, he pees like a girley dog and doesn't lift his leg. I've lost a lot of doormats this way.

Nowadays, I can't even open the oven door without him getting jittery. Just to be safe, I put him out the back door when I have to turn food over in the oven. He also paces like a prisoner when something beeps on television.

Because we have a bug zapper shaped like a tennis racquet, he freaks out if someone plays badminton in the yard. Bubble wrap? He can't even look at it -- he's out of the room in a flash. God forbid anybody should pop the damn stuff.

The damn dog has too many rules.

9 comments:

Stephen Parrish said...

I love it: a dog with issues!

Bernita said...

Do thunder storms also affect him?
Poor doggiedear.
He certainly is a handsome fellow.

Chumplet said...

Storms still annoy him, Bernita. Yes, he is so pretty everyone calls him a girl. It doesn't help that he pees like one.

plaidearthworm said...

Poor puppy...he needs a hound hypnotist.

Chumplet said...

It won't be long before he starts getting nervous when I buy turkey. "Oh, oh, that's going in the oven, isn't it?"

McKoala said...

Aw, he's a chickendog! Polly, now 13 weeks, seems to be afraid of water. That will make bath time extremely tedious. We've had a few thunderstorms, though, and they don't seem to faze her.

Ello said...

I had a german shepard who was terribly frightened of thunderstorms. For some reason, when it thundered, she'd race through the house and get under my bed covers. Usually wet and muddy. used to piss me off something fierce. But it was sweet that it was my bed she sought comfort in. Chester is definitely a beautiful dog.

Church Lady said...

I love the photo of your dog.
Poor thing. Maybe if you give her (err, him) treats whenever there's a beep?

Chumplet said...

He just added chewing gum to his list of forbidden items. I think Andrew popped his one too many times.