Wednesday, 13 February 2008

Valentines, Schmalentines.

Am I the only romance author who hates Valentine's Day?

Don't get me wrong. I love my husband dearly, and I'm a sucker for every chick flick out there. I read romance novels that make me laugh, cry and cause my heart to beat a little faster.

But Valentine's Day has always been, well - blech. Why must we have a special day to prove our love? I don't crave chocolate, meaningless mass-market greeting cards get tucked into the archives with all the others, and flowers start to get that funky smell after a few days, dropping dry leaves all over the credenza.

Jewellery? I lose stuff all the time. Nobody knew (until now) about the missing ring from Algeria or the silver Saudi keychain, or the pin that jumped off my coat lapel and disappeared into a snowbank, never to be seen again. My husband bought me a cute pair of garnet earrings, and one of them went AWOL for six months. I found it under a couch cushion.

I appreciate the sentiment, but diamonds are not my best friend. I'm happy with my little engagement set I received twenty-three years ago. I don't dare take the rings off, in case they fall down the kitchen sink drain, a la Lucy Ricardo.

I don't like the pressure to act romantic. It seems that I'm supposed to instantly become a sizzling siren every February 14th. I'm not. I'm just a regular gal who keeps the hair dye companies from going bankrupt. I prefer sensible cotton instead of lace, and I only wear enough makeup to extinguish the beacon that is my nose. Perfume is nice, but every time I remember to dab some on, someone at work complains that they're allergic.

In the early years, I bowed to the pressure and tried gittin' frisky by lighting candles, locking the bedroom door and wearing something ridiculously frilly. Our kids' sex radar went on high alert on Valentine's Day anyway. I'd have the creepy sense that they'd be listening at the door. Why not save that nonsense for a day they don't expect their parents to go all weird on them? "Ewww, Dad! Stop groping Mom!"

Here's my take on Valentine's Day. Order pizza, have a family chocolate fondue and watch a lighthearted comedy or a shoot 'em up adventure on the tube. That's about all I can handle these days, anyway.

15 comments:

Kanani said...

Well, I think at the very least, someone should offer to clean out the cat box for you!

Happy Valentines Day, Chumplet.

Over at my house, I've got boxes of candy and hearts hanging from the light fixture above the table. We'll have chicken tonite. They I suppose the teens will have a row about something obscure!

By the way, over at the LA Times, they've announced another 150 cuts to be made to staff. Yikes!

Katie said...

Seeing how we don't celebrate here, I have no idea why I love it. But I make it personal, a day to give thanks. A day to think about all the wonderful people in my life this past year.

Gina Ardito said...

I'm not a fan either. Each year I lay down the law with the dh; get me a card. Nothing more. No gifts, no roses (at jacked-up prices!), no cheesy stuffed animals. I'll usually make a nice dinner (lobster and filet mignon but since I just had root canal yesterday, I'm thinking that'll be pared back to soup and grilled cheese), but as I get older, I find I have less patience for nonsense holidays. Maybe I'm just getting crotchety in my senior years. LOL!

Ello said...

You know, I am totally with you! Valentine's day is really nothing special to me either... unless I get diamonds. Seriously, diamonds will buy me every time. Unfortunately, I rarely get them. Boo.

The Anti-Wife said...

I give my dog an extra biscuit and she cuddles up in the big chair with me for a few minutes. That's it. Happy VD!

Anonymous said...

Hubby and I celebrated our 24th wedding anniversary on Monday by going out to eat steak. Tonight we had leftover chinese and just simply enjoyed each other's company while watching a Chevy Chase movie. Tonight was my favorite night, a night alone with my best friend - hubby.

Hugs and happy Valentines, friend!

Peggy B.
www.peggyborel.com

Chumplet said...

Heh, I never have a night ALONE with my best friend. I guess it's high time we abandoned the kids.

Stephen Parrish said...

You're my kind of girl. My daughter and I celebrated Valentine's Day by watching "Jurassic Park." Again.

wordtryst said...

Thank goodness I'm not the only Valentine's Day Scrooge out there.

It's all marketing and manipulation to me. If I want to show the people who mean a lot to me some appreciation, I do it when I decide to, and in my way.

Grumph.

Bernita said...

I don't hate it, I just ignore it.

ChristineEldin said...

I got some sexy new underwear for Valentine's Day.

heh heh


(I agree--I think anniverseries are much more romantic)

BernardL said...

Yep, with a family, it's always best to grab your moments when they're available and least expected. :)

Cosmo C said...

Another day - on Feb 13th, I had a really wicked headache. I took some Nyquil and went to bed. When my husband came home, he gave me a dozen long stemmed red/yellow roses. Happy Valentine's Day. I replied, in a fog, it's tomorrow. I know, but I'm working all day. I said thanks - hide them from the cats. Yep, my four furballs love fresh flowers. When I woke up in the morning, I put the roses in a vase and cleaned up the regurgitated petals. Happy
Valentine's Day. Now,they're sitting in the deep sink (so the cats don't push the vase over) but, I do sniff them everyday.

Chumplet said...

We had pizza and watched Casino Royale and didn't have a fondue because we couldn't find the burner thingy or the forky thingies.

So today we made smoothies with the fruit for breakfast on Saturday and put the chocolate chips in a banana cake. I'm making roast chicken and potatoes and we're watching Bond again.

And it it's not even Valentine's day!

Brenda Bradshaw said...

Amen, sista - I feel the same way. Forced appreciation just isn't the same as spontaneous acts of admiration.