O car of green from ninety-six
We bought you in good faith
It wasn't long before we knew
We'd made a big mistake.
At first you cruised with love and flair,
Zipped through streets with vigour
But soon we thought you must be haunted
Or at least filled up with liquor.
When your heater we turned on,
The ceiling lights would flicker
And when your hatch defroster lit,
Your engine would start to bicker.
Music blared from speakers rear,
But from the front did not,
If we cared to hear it thus,
It gurgled as if shot.
Soon your engine took a fit
And revved without a cue
Mechanics scratched their heads with frowns,
They didn't have a clue.
Finally the quiz was solved
And you almost purred like a kitten,
Then Christmas Eve you threw a belt
And we all felt much like shittin'.
Later on your tires went bald,
You jerked and slipped, you did
Just five minutes in the snow
Struck fear in us when you slid.
We bought new tires and thus survived
A winter full of flakes
When Spring sprang forth with all its warmth
Alas, we needed brakes.
We took a look at all our books
And fiddled with finances,
To throw good money after bad
Would lessen all our chances
For health and safety on the road,
We had to make a decision -
So off to Toyota's store we went
On a spanking new car mission.
We found a lovely vehicle
With shiny glass and steel
For the first time in all our years
We have two cars we feel
Are happy, healthy, humming cars
With CD players in both,
No old cassette tape misery
Or sluggish, rusty sloth.
No gaffers tape, no filthy oil,
No wires holding up the bottom,
No scratchy music from the back
The new cars they don't got 'em.
No rust, no scratches, no bare spots,
No peeling from the sides,
Our two new cars will fill our days
With hundreds of great rides.
We bought you in good faith
It wasn't long before we knew
We'd made a big mistake.
At first you cruised with love and flair,
Zipped through streets with vigour
But soon we thought you must be haunted
Or at least filled up with liquor.
When your heater we turned on,
The ceiling lights would flicker
And when your hatch defroster lit,
Your engine would start to bicker.
Music blared from speakers rear,
But from the front did not,
If we cared to hear it thus,
It gurgled as if shot.
Soon your engine took a fit
And revved without a cue
Mechanics scratched their heads with frowns,
They didn't have a clue.
Finally the quiz was solved
And you almost purred like a kitten,
Then Christmas Eve you threw a belt
And we all felt much like shittin'.
Later on your tires went bald,
You jerked and slipped, you did
Just five minutes in the snow
Struck fear in us when you slid.
We bought new tires and thus survived
A winter full of flakes
When Spring sprang forth with all its warmth
Alas, we needed brakes.
We took a look at all our books
And fiddled with finances,
To throw good money after bad
Would lessen all our chances
For health and safety on the road,
We had to make a decision -
So off to Toyota's store we went
On a spanking new car mission.
We found a lovely vehicle
With shiny glass and steel
For the first time in all our years
We have two cars we feel
Are happy, healthy, humming cars
With CD players in both,
No old cassette tape misery
Or sluggish, rusty sloth.
No gaffers tape, no filthy oil,
No wires holding up the bottom,
No scratchy music from the back
The new cars they don't got 'em.
No rust, no scratches, no bare spots,
No peeling from the sides,
Our two new cars will fill our days
With hundreds of great rides.
